Part 57: Episode LV: Remember That One Time Where...

Episode LV: Remember That One Time Where...


Well, I guess that last bit was a bit confusing for people. How about some meandering flashbacks of information easily inferred by a five minute cutscene in the original game?


"Hohoho. I know how you like to keep your meat fresh, doctor."


So that is who that mysterious shadowy figure was. Of course!


"No!"
"You're using this fine specimen too... I hope he's still under warranty. Afraid the boy has a few extra holes in him. But, you know all about holes being plugged up, don't you doctor? Wahaha!"
"You're wrong! You're wrong! You're wrong! I...!" (said in the tone of a five year old having a temper tantrum)


"I'm a lab coat... I'm a doctor...? Oooooh! I'm a scientist. This all makes a lot more sense."


The in-between shots of this sequence has a series of single line subtitles flash on screen. There's no real meaning behind them. I suppose it just reveals Lucrecia's thought process relies heavily on trailing off...


Will I ever LP anything made by Square-Enix.

Some time later...


"For my next experiment, we'll see how high on the laugh-o-meter I can get by tea bagging the boy here. Hohohoho!"

Lucrecia barges in...


<zip> "Oh, Dr. Crescent. This must be like the Batsignal for you. Wahahaha."
"Lucrecia..."


"Huh...? Hold up. Little distracted here..."


"Oh right. Bleeding out on the floor and all. I'll just go now."


Oh, well that's very nice of you to notice while they're glazing over from blood loss.


"Couldn't handle it."


"It's not you it's me... Let's just be friends... You're like a brother to me... You just couldn't take a hint..."


"Frankly, I just didn't see it in the cards that Shinra would send me another man servant if the first one croaked. Lousy Space Program eating up all the funding."

Some time even later...


"Not again. Not today. I should really invest in a chair."


"...that your eyes are exactly like your father's? So big and cold and dead."



"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!? IT BURNS WHEN I PEE!!"






"Stop! Stop being the devil! It's a big turn off. Knock it off!"




Oh hey, turns out the Protomateria was under this desk all along. Fancy that.


"Alongside 1.33 gil in change and an old sock."

Points in the future...


"No! No! No! I really need to learn how to type."


"I completely forgot to request a chair from HQ. My knees are killing me."

A bit further down the line. Good to see it was over nine months of which Vincent was pickled in a jar and stuck with various sources of absolute evil...


"Give my son back!"
"Oh, sure. Which one would that be? Shall I phone the orphanages in the greater Midgar, Wutai, and Junon area? Hehehe."
"Shut up, Hojo! You know what I mean."
"Oh, the offspring of our own chemical swapping? So sorry, dear. I believe when you signed the papers saying 'willing to inject fetus with alien lifeform's cells' you waved all parental rights. Quite clearly stated in Section 6, Article 9, Paragraph 3. The one with the header 'Why You Are a Horrible Person'. Wahahaha!"


"Trying to ruin lives before birth AND postmortem. A bold move, I must say. You're a credit to the field of Asshology."


"Hehehe. Hey, boy. I think she likes you. Wahahahaha!! See ya around. Hohohoho!"
"..."
<frown>


You know you've got a keeper when their catchphrase is "I'm so sorry". Has Lucrecia met anyone she's failed to dick over?


"I can't take it anymore. My body. My mind. I am never getting that chair, am I...?"


In case it wasn't evident, Lucrecia pulled the 'copy yourself onto the internet and live on as cyber ghost' thing decades before Hojo did. And that's what's going on with Shelke.


And thus poor Vincent Valentine was left to pickle in a jar for the rest of his days. At some point he fell into a box full of old Halloween costumes and swore off the use of scissors and took up coffin dwelling. But that's a connecting story for another game...

Bonus Content:

Are you really eager to watch 5+ of Lucrecia rambling...? Look no further!

Number of Cutscenes: 3
Total Cutscenes: 203